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Episode 17

The One With the Appropriate Advert

Out in Reading with Rosie and Daz on patrol, when she spots a car with a broken window. The driver seems to be taking an endless amount of time to stop, and a pursuit ensues, briefly. For some reason, the driver seems amazed at being stopped, and it appears that his befuddlement is booze-related. He’s known to Rosie, who’s previously stopped him for no insurance. With Lloydy and Jim alongside, Daz breathalyses the driver, who claims that Daz is the guy who blew in the tube! There’s also the concern that the car’s nicked, given that the window’s broken, and the driver seems eager to shout something across to his passenger, while insisting he’s only recently bought it. The car hasn’t been reported stolen despite the smashed window and ignition; but the driver’s failed the breath test and still hasn’t got insurance. Plus he’s out of prison on license. He fails the breath test, and the car was nicked. And they did it so quickly that the owner hadn’t even discovered his loss!

In Windsor with Iestyn, Boris still in the van, taking a spot of time to assist with public order issues on a busy night. He’s quickly employed in helping to subdue a reveller who decided it would be a clever thing to try to deck a local officer. With reinforcements arriving, the inevitable section 5 follows.

Rosie and Daz are now in Bracknell, following a van driving ‘erratically’ after emerging from a pub carpark. The computer also reports no tax. The van stops without incident (other than hitting the kerb) but the guy reeks of booze, so out comes the breathalyser. He’s familiar with the machine, because he’s still on a ban for drink drive! One failure later, he’s off to the nick for an evidential test. Being only a little over, he’s allowed to offer a sample of urine for testing, which backs up the failure, and his ban is extended even longer.

Dixie and Yorkie are patrolling in Reading, and pull over a car to request that the occupants pick up the litter they’ve hurled aside after wiping egg from their windscreens. Not only that, but there are no proper registration plates (apparently nicked – two weeks previously!) and a cannabis grinder lurking in a footwell. Checks reveal that the vehicle has a few complaints listed against it and the guy has a few drugs cautions and is on bail, too. There’s also some newly purchased cocaine-taking paraphernalia lurking in the driver’s hat! He can, it seems, afford coke, but not new license plates. The proposal to ‘deal at the roadside’ goes for a burton, when they find that the driver has tried to hide his stash of cannabis on the back seat of the patrol car. But they can’t take him in because the cell blocks are too busy. There’s a lucky customer. Briefly, until he was caught breaking his bail conditions and got locked up…

Chris and Simon are out on patrol in Milton Keynes and get behind a car that dings their ANPR, though they’re already interested because the driving standard is so poor. The driver has no ID, but claims a full license, and that he’s staying in Wales and dropped over to Milton Keynes to buy some meat – oh, and he’s a Bishop, too. There’s a guy with a very similar name who has no insurance but a different date of birth, but while Chris checking, the passenger takes ill, so they decide that now is not the time to seize the car. So they issue a producer instead.

Yorkie and Dixie have headed over to Wokingham and Dixie drools over a Ferrari that’s ahead of them. Unfortunately, the presence of a supercar seems to upset the driver of a sporty Nissan in the next lane to the extent that he feels the need to prove his car can do the 0-60 thing, too. Unfortunately, he’s just done it in front of the Dynamic Duo!

Dixie, Rosie and Daz are travelling together through Slough and get behind a car with two people in it – no seatbelts are being used, and, while the driver is using his mirror, it seems to be only to look at himself. They pull the car when it makes a rather foolish manoeuvre and proceed to do the usual. Astonishingly, the driver admits to having drugs in the car without any serious hassle, which is particularly amazing given how much there is; but, in the excitement of his disclosure he forgets to point out the four cannabis grinders, Rizlas, and abandoned deal bags.

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