Charlie and new partner Mish Ryan are out in Slough and are alerted by their ANPR to a parked up Volvo with a bit of a criminal history, so they park up and wait for someone to return to it, as they suspect that the driver may well not be properly documented. The planned stop doesn’t, however, go according to plan as the driver decides he doesn’t want a word – but, being in a cul de sac, he’s had to flee down a footpath and gets a bit of a headstart, leaving Charlie to guess where he’s gone. By chance they catch up head to head, and the Volvo reverses away from them at speed, barging backwards past anything in the way. This is followed by a u-turn over a central reservation, before nearly hitting the driver of a car he’s only just banged into! The chase moves onto the Britwell at which point things go totally unaccording to plan when Charlie reverses into a parked car.

Brian and Jake are in Tilehurst looking for someone apparently on the loose with a samurai sword. Astonishingly, at the scene, he finds officers dealing with a youngster who, overeager to hurl missiles from an upstairs window of his home, has accidentally managed to throw himself out, too – requiring the assistance of paramedics. The apparent swordsman is still inside the house, requiring careful planning for the next move. The door goes in, and shielded officers storm the house. All plans turn out to be unnecessary as the bloke is flat out in a drunken sleep upstairs. Dutch courage rules…

Lloydy and Jason Evans are in Reading following a car going up a one way street the wrong way. Out comes the breathalyser – but before they can use it they have to listen to an astonishing saga about a robbery. Not that it makes any difference as he blows red anyway. Despite a long wait at custody to get on the evidential breathalyser, he still blew nearly twice the limit, so Lord alone knows what he was when they stopped him.

Lloydy is back with Jim in Slough looking for a stolen BMW spotted around the town centre. It’s been flagged by the Met as possibly being involved with a recently busted Car ringing outfit so everyone’s keeping an eye out. It’s moved on from where it had been spotted, but they have no success in town and head off back on patrol to the Britwell. By chance, that’s where they find it! Taking a bit of a gamble, they knock on the door of the nearest house and speak to the owner: a car trader who has, quite innocently, just bought it at what is – for a BMW anyway – a knockdown price. Sadly, that means he’s lost the car, and his money.

Conrad and Simon are in Aylesbury looking out for drug dealers, and find themselves behind a car with a startlingly appropriate number plate given the tweaks to Simon’s crim radar that there may be some drug use going on inside. The driver has already got the problem of no seatbelt and a dodgy brake light – but then there is the problem of the cannabis one of the passengers is carrying. As for the provisional license – no L plates and the supposed supervisor being underage to do so…looks like it’s Shanks’s Pony home, lads!

Chris Waller and JK are out in the countryside chasing up some wandering bullocks that have decided the grass is greener elsewhere, and are now happily trotting on an unlit windy road. They eventually manage to pen the bullocks in a driveway, while JK looks for someone to take possession of them – at which point they decide they’ve had enough of hanging around and decide to wander off again!