Simon and Conrad are in Slough – their patrol is interrupted by a sudden chase of a wanted bilker in a silver Vectra which heads over pavements and the wrong sides of roads as the fleeing driver attempts to get away, coming within an ace of hitting vehicles in all direction. Sooner or later he’s going to come a cropper, and eventually does – fleeing into the night and leaving a nasty prang behind him. The search involves a chopper and Mark who, as the search falters, ends up being called in to help with a totally different wanted man who’s been spotted by a local team also taking part in the search! Not that it mattered in the end as they got the original guy a few days later…

Still in Slough, still with Simon and Conrad, an ANPR ding pulls up a rather ancient car which shouldn’t be on the road as it’s got no MOT – it’s also meant to be in Kent, but isn’t. Given the lack of an MOT, it’s likely that it hasn’t got anything else either so they stop it. While Simon does the questioning, Conrad spots the driver hastily dropping something, and the stop turns into a search which turns up some cannabis and something unidentified in a foil pack in the boot. They never did find out what the white stuff was, but apparently the puff was seriously rubbish quality; so not only has he lost his stash – he was ripped off when he bought it, too.

Back to Slough again, this time with Tristan and Bella heading off on patrol together. The first call of the night is to a bunch of youths apparently lurking suspiciously around a moped at the back of some shops. A bunch of likely lads claim to have done nothing wrong – but they fit the description and the report makes it clear they’ve been trying to start the moped, so they have to stay. Given that there’s three lads – plus friends – and only one Tristan, the odds are awkward if they want to make trouble, and even with back up, the boys in blue are still outnumbered. While they wait for the van to arrive, the lads are mouthy, but otherwise subdued – until one of them attempts to nick the keys of a patrol car! That sets the others off, and they’ve run out of cuffs. Fortunately the van arrives and the mouthy crew are dispatched to Maidenhead.

Charlie and Mish are in Reading, patrolling. Two lads in a Ford spring Mish’s crim radar and she gets the driver out to be breathalysed as he smells a bit boozy. He passes this, so they search the car and Charlie spots a knife concealed in the door pocket. This is not revealed to the driver until he’s nicked, who expresses astonishment at such an outcome; but he can’t explain why it’s there so it’s a trip to Custody.

Now in Slough again, Charlie and Mish have spotted a moped being buzzed recklessly around the Britwell and are being ignored in their attempts to stop it. They’re not willing to let it go, as the pillion has no helmet on, but it’s a second unit manages to find it from their radio descriptions so they’re able to have a word. The young rider is utterly blasé about his behaviour. He shouldn’t have had a passenger at all, helmet or not; and his driving on footpaths hasn’t helped – and that’s before the fact he’s got no tax for the bike anyway. He’s going to be reported for that – particularly as he’s already been flagged for antisocial behaviour on his bike by other officers, so he’s getting a Section 59 as well now. One more stop and it’s bye-bye bike.

Party time in Windsor, and a drug dealer is in the sights of Conrad and Simon, part of an operation to take him off the streets. They’re not present for the arrest, so they go to assist, along with Mark and Huey, and the search begins. The dealer is carrying his wares, cannabis and – possibly – cocaine, but, despite ‘fessing up from the outset, he is not impressed by the whole being taken back to the nick in cuffs thing. Though the preparations for a night in custody turn into a night at Ratners as he removes almost ridiculous amounts of clunky gold jewellery. Apparently the drugs are his second job, as he reveals his ‘day job’ is acting in ‘adult’ movies. Is that why he’s got the Viagra in his coat pocket, then?

Waller and Flipper are in Ascot, looking for burglars in the dead of the night. Their search is interrupted by a razzing Mondeo zipping past them far faster than it should have – Waller reckons about 70 in a 40 zone. The driver – fulfilling the cliché – looks out from under a baseball cap and insists he wasn’t going that fast; which doesn’t impress, particularly as the driver has only had his license for a year. He’s got a pair of mates in the car to whom he’s been showing off – who naturally find the ensuing lecture highly amusing. This doesn’t impress Waller either; but the driver himself is chastened by the rollocking he’s just had, so the point has been made.