The One With the Mega-Tantrum of All Time
Simon and Conrad are out and about in Slough looking for a drug dealer. His car has been spotted by local teams, so they’re in the right place; until their crim radars are spiked by another car – and the computer concurs with their view that its driver is dodgy in the drugs department. Things are further compounded when the driver, who is female, flees. She eventually pulls over, and her car just screeches ‘user’, with foil and clingfilm all over the place; but her attempts to hide her current (quite large) stash in her mouth don’t work as her pretend compliance with Conrad’s instructions doesn’t wash. Eventually she spits it out and admits that it’s gear.
Now we’re in Taplow – with a small gaggle of proactives just starting their shifts, Simon, Conrad, Lloydy, Jim, Charlie and Mish – and Dixie! Out on the road, Simon and Conrad are on the M4, having to push it to catch up with a speeding driver who is also tailgaiting and weaving in and out of the traffic. While they wouldn’t normally deal with driving offences, they will if faced with this sort of thing. The average speed according to VASCAR is 14 over the limit – but the speed they’re having to go at to keep up while checking this reading is 104. It takes them quite some time to persuade the driver that, yes, it’s him they’re trying to pull over, and eventually they stop him on the hard shoulder, rather than on a safer stretch of road off the motorway as they were hoping to do but for his ignoring them. Amazingly, the driver turns out to be a doctor – which doesn’t prevent his requirement to go up before the Beak.
Brian is in Reading, called in to help get a pair of very drunk Poles out of the road and on their way home. Language barrier aside, being thoroughly bevvied up, it takes time to get them on their way – but their celebrations have been rather more than just necking the booze; they’ve been hurling bins around, and damaged a car while doing so, and thus end up in custody rather than in their own beds – which makes for much effort in completing the forms, until one of them takes exception to the camera, at which point his English becomes rather more fluent than expected.
Simon and Conrad are in Bracknell in the early hours, on the hunt for burglars, and take an interest in a car that, it turns out, has a bit of a history having been stopped before with drugs paraphernalia and tools in it. The driver stops without fuss, and all inside are searched. Most have a bit of cannabis on them, except for one with class A and another with nothing, who is allowed to go. Everything is proceeding smoothly despite a local boy turning up and taking exception to the presence of police in his ‘hood’. Everyone in the car is able to go – except for the guy with the class A.
Party night in Windsor again, but this time it’s Tristan on patrol, coming to the aid of a man who is phenomenally drunk. Matters are not helped by the fact that the man is unable to remember where he lives, and is utterly unable to contact his wife to pick him up as he can’t actually remember her name unprompted. Matters are not improved once he does manage to get in contact with her, as he now can’t remember where he is, so Tristan has to step in and organise the chariot home.