The One with the Multi-tasking Cameraman
Lloydy and Jim are in Slough are heading in to assist Charlie in nicking two guys involved in a drug deal. One of them has, apparently, gone into a cul de sac so they head in that general description armed with a description from Charlie, and start searching gardens. Lots and lots of gardens. As more coppers arrive, Kev spots the suspect and, delicately, attempts to climb over the wall – whereas Huey, being far more direct, hurtles straight through the gate and collars the guy amid a veritable forest of satellite dishes. The suspect has far less gear than they would have expected for a dealer, and claims he was the buyer; so quick checks ensue to be sure he hasn’t ditched anything – which indeed he hasn’t.
Back with Kev, now with Waller in Windsor out on patrol patrolling. Waller spots a guy sitting in a car park alone, who Kev recognises as a drug user, so they pay him a quick visit as the hour is late and there is no real reason for him to be there. The guy claims to have no drugs – but does have a knife, which they quickly secure. He’s terribly edgy, though, so Waller searches the car. When they decide to take him back to the nick, at which point he flees – with the handcuffs still on! Needless to say, he doesn’t get far, and a further search reveals several wraps of drugs about his person.
Conrad is patrolling in Slough with Dixie, when an ANPR ding alerts them to a car in front of them. The car’s driver has apparently had his license revoked having accrued six points within two years of passing his test. As this relates to the car rather than the individual at the wheel, they pull it over to find out who’s driving it. The driver claims to be legitimate and pulls out a heap of papers to back this up – but this doesn’t include insurance. While waiting for Conrad to check this out, the driver fills time by asking Dixie’s advice on how to switch off his fog lights. Maintenance queries completed, Conrad reveals that the insurance policy has been cancelled for non payment. This means seizure of the car, which doesn’t go down at all well, and it takes several attempts to explain to him that, just because he thought he was insured, doesn’t mean that he was. Conrad is the lucky devil who gets to drive the seized car away – which is an entertaining exploit given that the car’s handbrake doesn’t actually work.
Kev is now out on the M1 near Milton Keynes with Acting Sergeant Simon, and they’re behind someone who looks a bit dodgy – a perception backed up by information that the car isn’t insured. His driving is a bit mucky too, so they stop him to check out his insurance. He freely admits the car isn’t insured, and that he has no license either. He’s also faffing with something inside his door pocket – which turns out to be a knuckle duster, which he claims to use on his dog. It turns out that he was actually faffing with his shoe – hiding some cannabis resin in it. He’s also got some more gear in his pocket, which nearly gets left on the car roof instead of being put in an evidence bag!
Simon’s back with Conrad – but minus the stripes this time – and they’re out looking for drug users around Chalvey, and they’ve spotted a group of youths who have congregated in a childrens’ play park. Given the area’s reputation for drug use, they park up out of sight and sneak their way round to a suitable pounce point to prevent the lads from dropping stuff or fleeing. This half works, as they don’t run – and one of them is spotted hurling something away as discreetly as he can. The search doesn’t turn up anything – until Simon finds a stupidly small amount of gear in a dry bag lying on wet grass. He offers a street caution, looking for a volunteer to claim it, and one of them steps forth to take the rap. However, once away from the group, he changes his mind – but almost immediately changes it back again and gets his street caution. Everyone knows that it wasn’t him really, but his so-called mates aren’t talking, and neither is he.
St Patrick’s Day in Reading, and Daz is out with Kev at closing time on the lookout for drunk drivers. Their first stop is a driver of a car who they suspect of being drunk, but matters are then compounded when the passenger cheerfully hurls a used pizza box out of the window as they’re driving along. This brings them a stern talking-to from Mr Murphy, who goes on to breathalyse the driver – who passes. They do not, however, get off entirely – as they then have to go back and retrieve the discarded pizza box.
Still in Reading, still mopping up drunks, Daz and Kev are now heading into a residential street to investigate reports of someone banging on a front door – who is so incredibly drunk that he doesn’t know where he is, and won’t leave the address. When the arrive, the guy is so bladdered that he can barely stand, and coherent speech is absolutely beyond him. He has, however, been determined to get into what he thinks is his house, and has damaged the door in his attempts to kick his way through it. He actually lives towards the other end of the street. Being so incapable, and having committed an offence, he’s taken back to nick – finding himself a nice comfy pillow to kip on en route: Oli!
